Conflict within a relationship can lead to negative feelings about oneself. Many times the words that come out of our mouth are hurtful and we end up regretting them afterwards. These words can have a lasting effect on the person we love - making them feel weak and helpless.

Fighting is unavoidable and if you find that your relationship is constantly engaged in conflict then you must understand the things that can be done to help eliminate the frequency of conflict.

You must ask yourself what it is that you are upset about. Occasions will arise where you think everything starts a fight from bills to the kids. The funny thing is that most fights are unavoidable and occur over miniscule and petty disagreements. Most fights about nothing point to a larger scale problem. And it's that larger problem that must be delt with first before any chance at salvaging the relationship can be considered.

You may get annoyed very easily and snap at the other person because of repressed feelings within you. You may feel for example that the person you are involved with is not interested in the way you're feeling, or concerned about things that are important to you. In turn, because your partner is not willing to try to understand what you need - you become unhappy and upset. At this pont it doesn't take much to anger you because of repressed anger and frustration.

So how do we fix the larger issue? Some couples may find it easy to discuss their concerns through a sit-down discussion. This is wonderful as it means the both of you just need to set the time aside to fix things. However, for those of you who can't, the best approach would be through way writing. Many people can't communicate frustration verbally and writing tends to be extremely effective at getting feelings addressed. Through writing, we are able to actually think about what we want to say before we write it and are able to read over it making changes to things that may be offensive. We tend to word things objectively and properly as to not offend our partner while getting our point across. It also eliminates any chance of misinterpreting tone of voice.

Simply take a few minutes to express your thoughts on papper. Writing will allow you to focus and be calm. This in turn will allow you to put more focus on releasing your feelings about the relationship.

This writing exercise is a great exercise to do first thing when you get out of bed in the morning in the morning. Expressing your feelings by way of pen and paper you will be allowing yourself to focus and look at things more clearly. Many times in the morning people can tend to be moody and snappy - morning grogginess just adds to the problem - we tend to think a lot less when we first roll out of bed. Taking just a couple minutes to organize your thoughts first thing in the morning will also help you to be calmer and more organized with your day ahead. This is an amazing exercise and can work wonders.

To diffuse any fighting promptly you have to disasociae yourself from all anger and realize what is actually initiating the fight. One way to do this is by referring to the both of you as a third party. Remember to speak with a low tone - it's hard to be angry if talking softly.

Is fighting rewarding? Are you getting any satisfaction out of it? Sometimes do things that bring us satisfaction. Perhaps you look forward to the intimacy of making.

To understand how a fight unfolds you will both have to sit down with one another and actually try to talk about the issues needing to be addressed. Working through your problems is what has to be done in order to fix the constant fighting. Fighting shouldn't bring a reward.

Although we can't avoid fighting entirely, we can view it as a signal for looking more closely at our relationship. Take the time to think out your feelings and write them down so that you will be able to address them in a more positive manner. By doing this you will be calm and won't have to angrily express yourself in hopes that being loud will get your point across more effectively.

We are not perfect and finding better ways to avoid fights may save your relationship from falling apart in the future. Listen to your partners concerns and needs while actually taking the time to try and understand what it is that they want, and how you can make a difference in keeping your relationship intact. Fighting can not be avoided in it's entirety, however if conflict is playing a role in your relationship then you need to figure out a solution of how to manage it better and potentially rid it from ruining your relationship. Writing exercises allow both you and your partner to think before you lash out. You will find writing will allow both of you to eliminate the screaming and focus on comunicating towards a more productive and loving relationship.